a question from a participant in my training: ‘what is a true tantra teacher? and what about my boundaries?’

People who look for spirituality or tantra THINK that the path of spirituality is very rosy, cosy, colorful and loving. WRONG. The path of true spirituality, and the path of Tantra in particular, is a path of destruction. Nothing rosy about coming out of your ‘energetic lazy chair’, letting go of ‘right and wrong’, losing your solid ground of everything you have learned through the mind. Destroying your belief systems, destroying your relationships built on attachment, crumbling down all walls of resistance. A war zone in the name of Love and Truth.

In old school Tantra the teacher (most female) is the only one who can liberate you from narrow-minded loving and living. You will hate him/her as he/she is showing you the highest form of love and compassion with the sword of discrimination, again and again. Until you have the ability to see where you are still deluded by the world of form. Until you can see that your two eyes only see duality. Until you can see the world as it is, in one-ness. Only when you are ready, when your longing is burning in your heart. Only when you know you are deluting yourself and you want out of the prison. Tantra is not about having nice experiences, peaks of bliss etc. It is about seeing through the world of your senses, not getting attached (or addicted) to it. Tantra is not about the fairy tales of soul-mates, it is about seeing everyone with the eyes of the Beloved.

This is so uncommon for our western mind that we cannot see ‘dropping the known’, or ‘dropping your preference’ as true liberation. The mind will keep on saying: “I ‘feel’ I don’t have to do this practice’ or ‘ I have to follow my heart in this’. ‘Your heart is full of shit’ is a quote of Hans Laurentius (my ‘old school’ teacher), and I love that quote, it stirrers up a lot of emotions and it pierces through all the bullshit excuses. My old school tantra teacher Hariprem used to just laugh at my ‘problems’ while radiating so much love that I felt so naked and melted completely.

I am not saying: give away your authority. I am saying: listen to your resistance-what is it saying?, listen to your higher wisdom-you KNOW already, you just have to tap in. A true spiritual teacher is a channel for that which you cannot see (yet). On a practical note, this means : surrender. Trust that there is a mirror, not attached to an outcome, functioning our of the highest form of Love, that can zoom-out. And really SEE. Totally surrender to that mirror. To the higher wisdom reflected back to you.

Yes, where to find these teachers? I bet you don’t really want to find one.. it means you will lose a lot! These teachers are therefor very rare and hard to find. Its a lonely job, not in it for the fame. Not in it for the admiration. they don’t have a flashy website. it is a mission.